The day from hell….yet I said for the first time “I love life”

Today I had a challenging day…. I left for work in the dark, got home in the dark. I left and it was 9 degrees with 120 kilometre winds and it was absolutely pouring with rain. I got to the train station and was literally battling to stay up right and not taking off like…

Depression is so incredibly relentless…..

Depression is so relentless.  Despite any treatment it never leaves you.  Rarely are there days when i feel well, most days are filled with deep depression, sadness, exhaustion, nausea, stomach problems, headaches and anxiety.  I struggle to get through every day.   If I say ‘i am really not well’ the response is always ‘you…

This time last year….

I have come a long way since this time last year. 14 February 2013 I have been told, because ECT stole my memory, that I received a box of beautiful Roses and ate Chinese food….you are probably think this is lovey, so……well I was in a psychiatric hospital going on a month, half way through…

A day in the life…..

No two days are the same in my world of depression, bipolar and general anxiety disorder.  In any one day I can go through many different extremes from complete exhaustion that no amount of sleep can cure, depression that swallows me up like the ocean, anxiety that leaves me on tender hooks, and mania that…

When the Black Dog shows his face…..

The worst bit about believing you are on a road to recovery from depression is veering off that road onto a bloody side street met by your Black Dog, shrouded in thick fog, and not having any reason that can justify this setback and street of obstacles to fight your way over.  But that is…

Maybe I am just broken……

You wouldn’t send a footballer back onto the field with a broken leg, you wouldn’t send a child to school with chicken pox, and you wouldn’t go to work with a migraine, food poisoning, in fact when your sick most of us stay home in bed. I have had a mental illness for more years…

Don’t sweat the big stuff……

You expect that coming home from a great holiday, that was both relaxing and rewarding, would leave me feeling great, ready to face work, life, and everything in between. But I feel flat, I feel shitty, and I feel exhausted and sore. Probably what they say is the holiday blues, if there is such a…

The year that was 2013…..

The year that was 2013 has not been an easy year for the soul mate and me. What started out as a year of months as an in-patient in a psychiatric hospital involving extensive therapy, and sessions of Electro Convulsive Therapy (ECT), and many changes to my medications, was a year where I found out…

Happiness #2

Mihaly Csikszentimihaly (1990) writes that “the best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times……the best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limit in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.” I previously wrote that to be happy we need to enhance our…